Tipping the Scale
by Touch of Grey
Summary: A game of "Rate the Hottie" goes awry. Eddie/Zat, Eddie/Jaime friendship fic


It was a stupid, childish past time, but it was also 102 in the shade that day, and it wasn't as if any _criminals_ were out...so it was through both circumstance and mutual descision that Blue Beetle and Red Devil ended up sprawled on the training room floor playing 'Rate the Hottie'.

"Okay then, how about Wonder Girl? The first one, not Cassie. Donna Troy."

"_Dios mio,_ ten, ten, ten! Can we go off the scale? Because she's a fifteen. A twenty." Eddie snickered, flicking his tail in the direction of Jaime's head.

"Stick to the scale, man. But yeah, she's a _total_ babe. Your turn." Jaime let his head loll in the direction of the air vent, thinking.

"Miss Martian. I think she's an eight. Maybe a nine."

"Dude, she's like, one of the only Titans that ever really _liked_ me! I can't put her up on the hotness block!" they stared at each other. "...but yeah, I'd say she was about an eight and a half. My turn. What do you think of Mary Marvel, y'know, before she went all crazy?"

They continued down this line of thinking for about an hour, until it seemed that the boys were running out of heroines.

"Zatanna? You kidding? She get's a ten for each leg; _double_ that for her butt! I've met her, y'know. Through Zatara." Eddie frowned slightly. "I think she thinks I smell."

Jaime chuckled, but it was more of a sympathetic laugh than a mirthful one. Then he smirked, a wicked idea coming to mind. They'd long since run out of ladies, and had begun backtracking to their favorites for further scrutiny. It was time to kick things up a notch.

"Yeah, she's pretty hot. D'you think the great legs run in the family?" Eddie's eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

"Are, are you asking me to rate-? Hot damn, Jaime, you've got to be out of your mind! I can't, I could _never_..."

"Say a number, Bloomberg. No one is going to ostracize you for saying a number."

He knew he was probably walking straight into a trap, but it was too late to _not _give an answer now. Eyes to the ground, Eddie muttered a number.

"Didn't hear that one, man." Face flushed a deeper crimson, Eddie repeated himself.

"Ten, okay? I said ten! I give Zat a ten, because, well, just _because_. He's friggin' _gorgeous_, you know? His eyes are this completely impossible shade of, of steely blue and his hair is just wavy enough to border on curly _without_ the ringlets and when he thinks you actually have something important to say he'll _stare_ at you with all he's worth, with those _impossibly blue eyes_ and, gnnn." Eddie trailed off with a groan, heel of his hand grinding into his forehead. "Let's just forget him, okay?" Beetle quirked a brow.

"Yeah, no. Don't think I'm going to be able to do that. So how long have you had it this bad, huh? There's nothing wrong with it, man. See, I have this cousin-"

"So your cousin is a demon with a mad-on for his best friend, too? What a small world we live in!" Eddie growled, glaring at his friend. Jaime just rolled his eyes.

"Try harder if you want to scare me, man. You wouldn't scare my _mom_ with that tone." he thought a second "Though, she did take on Guy Gardner and _win_, so I don't think anything less than a meeting with God himself would intimidate her..." Eddie snickered, then steeled his face again.

"I screwed up big time with him, though. See, a little while after I became a Titan, Zat and I got ourselves zapped to New Azarath. We were stuck there for like, a week. There was nothing immediately edible, the weather was lousy, and on top of all that, Zat got his voice stolen by the Phantasm, so there wasn't anything he could do to zap us home. So about five days in, I figured life probably couldn't get any worse, so I," Eddie hung his head, as if the very thought of his actions had made the appendage heavier. "I kissed him. It was really great while it lasted, but then Zat burned his tongue on the roof of my mouth and pushed me backwards..." he trailed off, staring down at his hands. "After Raven rescued us and got Zat's voice back, he avoided me for a few days. Now he pretty much acts like it never happened. Which I guess is okay, because it means that he doesn't ignore my calls or anything, but I don't know if what he's doing is rejection or, or _denial_."

Jaime made an affirmative noise, pressing both thumbtips to his lips in thought. "And you said he was totally fine with the kiss before you burned him?"

"Mmhm."

"Well, looks like we've got a textbook case of denial, my friend." Eddie looked up hopefully.

"You think so?"

"Oh god yes. He obviously likes you, but is scared to come to grips with it. Chances are he's attempted to focus his romantic attentions on a woman he has no chance with rather than accepting what is right in front of his nose." Eddie blinked, then grinned.

"Okay, you're definitely a Blue Beetle. Or planning to major in psychology. But what you said, right there, that's Zat. Exactly. Ever since New Azarath, he's been kinda obsessing over Raven."

"There you go, then. He's crazy about you. Ask him out." Eddie heard rather than felt his jaw hit the ground.

"Are you insane?! I can't just ask him out! For one thing, I have no idea where he _is_ right now. And then there's the fact that he's Zachary flipping Zatara, my best friend, on whom an ice cube would not melt. So no, not gonna happen. Not this century, at least."

Jaime sighed patiently. "Look, if I knew you were such a chicken, I never would have bothered suggesting it. But if you _really_ feel like you can't ask him out, make him jealous. That way, _he'll_ ask you out."

Eddie had opened his mouth to ask just _how_ he was supposed to make someone as unflappable as Zatara jealous over _him_, when he heard a familiar voice.

"God, _there_ you are. Do you have any idea how many reflective surfaces I've had to project myself into to find you?! Furthermore- wait, what the hell are you doing on the floor?" Eddie rolled his eyes.

"I'm plotting world domination via training mats. No! I'm having an out-of-body experience. Or maybe I was having totally awesome sex. What does it look like, genius? I'm lying here." Zatara's eyes, which had widened slightly during Eddie's tirade, wandered over to Jaime.

"Totally awesome sex, huh? I had no idea he was your type." a muscle visibly twitched in Zat's forehead, and Eddie paled as much as he was physically able.

"Wait, that's not what I-" he paused. "Why would you care what my type was, anyway? It's not like we're going out or anything. Hell, if he _was_ my type, I'd expect you to congratulate me for finding someone while looking like this." A flush creeped up Zatara's tan face.

"I, I don't care. Who is he anyway? That new Beetle? Good for you."

Jaime groaned, squeezing the bridge of his nose. "Oh, like _hell_ I'm going to be in the middle of all this. Sorry, but I'm pretty sure my _girlfriend_ might get pretty ticked off if I hooked up with another guy. Besides, it's pretty obvious to anyone that isn't two weeks dead that Eddie likes you. He gave you a ten on the hottie scale, then ranted about how awesome you were for a good minute and a half. Oh, and newsflash for you, Zatara, when someone kisses you, it usually means that they're interested. And if you don't want to get burned, have him eat ice before you guys make out. Now if no one minds, I'm going to go jump into the pool because it suddenly got about fifty degrees hotter in here." Before he walked out the door, Jaime looked over his shoulder and scowled at Eddie. "And if I come back in here in ten minutes and you guys are just awkwardly staring at each other through a mirror instead of Eddie doing his fire-portal thing to wherever you are? I'm going to kick _both_ your asses. Through the damn mirror if I have to."

There was about thirty seconds of dead silence after Jaime left the room. Then Eddie cleared his throat.

"So, uh, where exactly _are_ you, anyway?"

"Sweden." Eddie grinned.

"So if I go there, do I get chocolate or a massage?"

"Get here in the next thirty seconds and I'll put up a third option." the demonic teen's mouth opened and shut a few times, but no words escaped. "I'll take that as meaning yes?"

Eddie opened up an portal and vanished, reappearing a second later in front of his friend. Leaning down slightly to press a chaste kiss to Zatara's lips, he grinned.

"You're damn right that's a yes."

Fini

:D No porn for youuuuu! Eddie/Zat, OTP. I'd say that Jaime/Eddie/Zat would make a good OT3, but I'd be lying like a rug. Eddie/Jaime is one of those "Sorry, Zat, you missed out!" kinda pairings. Like Bart/Tim or Kon/Bart. Tim and Kon want each other, but are too scared to ruin the friendship and choose a third option. Except that Bart/Kon/Tim is TEH HAWT, so there goes my theory. Besides, I just don't see Eddie and Jaime as having that same Boostle-rific slashable friendship connection just yet. Eddie/Zat has been pretty much canon ever since Zat first showed up.

Rant rant rant.

Believe it or not, I hadn't meant for this to devolve into slash. I really hadn't, honest, but my hands obviously have a mind of their own, and slash was written. Then again, I also haven't been sleeping well these past few days, so random parts of my body have probably developed a will of their own to survive.

Damn them.

Anyway, submit a review and _maybe _I'll write about how this little encounter ends.


End file.
